Wouldn’t it be easier if motherhood came with an instruction manual? All of those moments of self-doubt, confusion and frustration easily solved by a quick peek at your trusty owner’s manual. Baby won’t stop crying? Check chapter two. Teenager is sullen and won’t talk to you? Turn to page 371. It would certainly take the guesswork out of parenting and help us all feel a little more confident in what we we’re doing. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way, and as moms we frequently find ourselves thrown into the lion’s den trying to figure it out as we go. We are surrounded by conflicting opinions, and it can be challenging to find our footing. There is no time when this feeling is more acute than when you first become a mother.
The amount of incoming advice and opinions you get on how to raise your child begins almost the moment that you announce your pregnancy and can leave you feeling confused and stressed. The good news is that you have the power to change that feeling. We sat down with Kathryn, a valuable member of our buying team for over 12 years and a new mom to precious Remy. Kathryn had a long journey to get pregnant, so when she found out she was going to be a mom, she dove head first into every pregnancy book and blog she could find. She was quickly overwhelmed with all of the information that was out there and wondered how in the world she was going to remember all of the information in front of her. She made daily lists of schedules and plans but often ended up feeling like she had fallen short when things didn’t go exactly according to schedule. She was driving herself crazy trying to live up to an ideal of what she thought her parenting journey should look like and ultimately realized that she wasn’t really enjoying the journey.
Finding confidence in motherhood often involves surrendering control and accepting that you will not always have the answers. Kathryn was able to self-reflect and realized that she had a beautiful, happy and healthy baby—and that was enough. She made the conscious decision to give up the schedules and the things she thought she should be doing and found a solution that worked best for her family. No baby and no family are alike and trying to compare yourself to someone else’s ideal does not allow you to develop confidence in your ability to make the best decisions for your children, regardless of age.
Kathryn shared a piece of insight that is one of the beautiful things about working at Evereve. As a team of almost exclusively women, many share the journey of motherhood. In her 12 years at Everve, she has been stockpiling tips and tricks that have molded the way the way she approaches motherhood. Her most important lesson? You can take care of others best when you take care of yourself. She believes this is 100% true and the key to happy parenting. She stresses that feeling like the best (or at least good) version of herself each day gives her the confidence to tackle what the day brings. Whether it is at work, in a mommy and me group, or through your neighborhood friends, find a group of women who support you and encourage you in motherhood. This tribe will be a tremendous source of encouragement and will also help you grow in your confidence as a mom.